10 Less Stupid Resolutions for 2023

Not so much resolutions as broad principles I've been exploring for a few years now:

1. Gain clarity Without clarity, every decision, big or small, is at the mercy of our irrational fears and unconscious anxieties, and ends up leading us in the wrong direction. Clarity is the first thing we should be looking for. Before work. Before love. Before brushing our teeth in the morning. But here's the thing: to realize how important it is, you already need a bit of it. That's the paradox. Unless...
2. Want to grow It sounds simple, almost childish, but it works. Call it what you like: faith, grace, resilience. If you truly want to grow, to gain wisdom, to become a better person, you find a way. Even if that way isn't visible yet or – harder – if it isn't the one you had planned at the start. But you have to really want it. Like: really, really. Then no paradox, no excuse, no obstacle holds up. That's true faith.
3. "Where?" before "How?" "How?" is the question everyone is obsessed with. "How do I do this? How do I get there?" So much so that in the end, we don't go where we want to go, but where we know how to go. We let ourselves be guided by the "hows" we learned at school, at work, on TV, instead of asking the only question that matters: "Where?" "Where do we want to go? And why?" The wrong direction, even when you head there very fast or very efficiently, is still the wrong direction.
4. Direction before position Where you are doesn't matter. At rock bottom, on top of the mountain, halfway up the slope: it's temporary. What matters is the direction (the rate of change, engineers would say): are you going up or down? Growing or falling? By shifting your inner slope a few degrees, you change both the person and the destination. It isn't necessarily visible right away, but in the long run, that's what makes the difference.
5. The solution is always inside The problems we have are a function of who we are. If a genie snapped his fingers and made all our problems disappear tonight, we'd be happy for a day, and then, in less than a week, we'd build ourselves the same ones again – or similar ones. So there's no point blaming outside circumstances: they have nothing to do with it. Look for the inner causes that are the source. That famous inner slope pushing us up or down.
6. Problems before solutions In business, we're told, you should never bring a problem to your boss without offering a solution at the same time. In life, that's nonsense. Spotting problems is the first step toward solving them. It's called clarity. Once the obstacle is spotted, mechanisms will kick in to get past it. It's denial that keeps difficulties alive.
7. Get to know yourself Since we aren't handed one at birth, it's urgent to invest in writing our own instruction manual. Observe yourself. Practice introspection. How does anger arise? Jealousy? Fear? What deep reasons drive our actions? What irrational fears control our impulses? Identifying the inner mechanics lets you free yourself from them and so, in time, be more deliberate in everything.
8. Beware of thoughts Nothing truly important is intellectual. Thinking can be playful, social, productive, but the pillars of a life can't rest on logical reasoning. Our brain makes up problems when it can't find any. By nature, thought is never at peace. You have to let that machine run without worrying about it too much and look for balance elsewhere. In that sense, thought is a bit like television: it only becomes harmful when you believe it's telling the truth.
9. Beware of numbers Same with numbers: they're never where they should be. Cholesterol too high, salary too low, temperature too cold, interest rate too steep. By their very nature, numbers measure what's missing or what's too much, so they're a constant source of dissatisfaction and imbalance. Better to focus on what can't be measured: the joy of seeing someone, the pleasure of an activity you love, the beauty of the sky.
10. Live in the present It's a worn-out phrase, but it's also the key to the safe. Only the present exists. The past is memory – often selective and distorted. The future is imagination – often filtered through the anxieties of the moment. So not living in the present means living in your head. Being a prisoner of your thoughts, your opinions, your memories. Why not, after all. But every now and then, it's always a good idea to take a trip to the "here and now." To stay in touch with the world, with others, and with yourself.

Happy 2023.