Three Rules of Life to Change the World
Change the world, maybe not. But at least you'll stop bugging me.
1. No more "bon appétit" at every turn
At the table, with your family, with your friends: knock yourself out.
Even if Nadine de Rothschild's etiquette manual says it isn't done ("what's next: 'enjoy your grub?'" as a dinner guest pointed out), it's part of French culture, of your freedom of expression, and besides, how else are you going to break the ice with all those people you have nothing to say to?
On the other hand, when you see, sitting on a park bench or at a café terrace, someone you don't know from Adam, whom you'll never run into again in your life, and who is just taking the first bite of their sandwich while reading the paper... Why bug them?
True: it's always nice to connect with another human being.
But apart from making them choke on their food to mumble a half-hearted "thanks" before you vanish from their life forever, what have you accomplished? What did you get out of the exchange? Why the spring in your voice and that smug little smile as you walk off down rue d'Amsterdam? (You know who you are.)
2. No more unwanted croissants
If you're a waiter and I order a coffee, there's no need to ask me "And wouldn't you like a little croissant with that?"
No. I don't want anything. Keep your junk.
If I'd wanted something, I would have said the words. I would have said "with a croissant," or I would have asked for "the breakfast deal." I need no help figuring out what I want or putting my wishes into words.
Now, I know: your boss probably makes you do it. But let me tell you a secret: nothing forces you to follow stupid orders when your boss isn't standing right behind you. And I refuse to believe he goes through the security footage reading your lips to check you're suggesting the right pastries. (If he does, get out of there.)
What's next? Ordering a glass of water and having the waiter whisper in your ear, "wouldn't you like to go for a little pee first?" At least I'd find that funny.
3. Start now
Let's end on a positive note.
Whether it's meditation, exercise, or looking for meaning in your life, start now. Get on it today. Right now. Don't even finish this paragraph. Go.
Above all, don't wait until you've "finished such-and-such project" or until you're "in a better frame of mind."
There are two reasons not to wait:
- Without balance, your project is probably headed in the wrong direction, and finishing it will only drag you down further. As for a better frame of mind, it will only come if you do what it takes. Start.
- If you put off what makes your life better until later, "when you have time," your good resolutions will vanish along with your free time. And that's exactly when you need them most.
For example: I meditate and write in my journal every morning. Sometimes I skip a day or two – it happens. But never – no, never! – when I have an important or busy day. On the contrary: that's when it counts, and when I need all my mental energy.
On hungover mornings when I'm eating junk food in front of Netflix, it matters less.