The Battle to Exist
I've noticed that the times I got angriest were when someone acted as if I didn't exist.
As if where I stood, there was no one.
The driver who nearly runs me over. The fellow passenger who plays their music as if they were alone. The colleague who completely disregards what I say.
I've noticed it in others too. The strongest emotions arise when we feel ignored.
So much so that much of what we do seems designed to prove that we exist.
Work, conversation, creation, social media... Everything seems unconsciously orchestrated to prove to the rest of the world that we're really here.
As if our deepest fear were being a ghost. The existential dread of being nothing but a specter that has to thrash about to be seen.
And when someone ignores us, it's as if they were exposing that emptiness. As if, with a gesture or a remark, they wiped out all the effort we put in every day just to be.