Two kinds of suffering
Strange light on the beach yesterday.
I think there are two kinds of suffering.
The first comes from "acts of God".
Everything outside our control: accidents, illness, loss, disasters large and small.
Some say we should call that "pain" instead, precisely because there's nothing to be done about it.
To set it apart from the "suffering" we create for ourselves:
The extra layer of misery, entirely optional, that we inflict on ourselves without noticing.
It builds slowly. It piles up.
And I believe its main cause is this:
Not expressing who we are.
Every time we act against ourselves. Every time we let the intellect take over and overrule what our "deeper self" wants.
Every time we don't follow joy.
Yes, yes: it isn't always easy.
Sometimes we mistake joy for pleasure, for desire, for wanting.
Sometimes we're sure joy has it wrong and that intelligence is "the voice of reason".
When that happens, the backlash usually doesn't come right away. For a while, we can tell ourselves "we did the right thing".
But over time, these departures from joy add up.
In the end, they build the identity we keep propping up and that weighs us down.
They're behind the morning anxiety. Behind our hesitation when the answer is obvious.
They paralyze pure action and trap us inside our heads.
The only long-term cure:
Act according to your nature.
Express who you are.
Follow joy.