Judgment and objective
Have you noticed that your life is more or less organized like this:
- You pass judgment on a situation, positive or negative,
- You put a plan in place to fix that situation,
- Did your plan fail or succeed? Back to step 1.
Where's the harm, you might ask?
After all, it's a self-correcting process: with each iteration, things get a little better. So why not organize ourselves this way?
Two things bother me.
First, step 2 is unconscious.
By that I mean that during the execution phase, we're not present.
Instead of being available to the world and to whatever comes up, our eyes are fixed on the objective.
But that objective is a concept. It's a view of the world built in the past. One that's still relevant – or not. Achievable – or not. In our best interest – who knows?
It's an intellectual decision, based on a judgment (step 1), that takes precedence over the present. Following the objective becomes more important than following the flow.
"But we can adjust," you'll say. "If we see we're heading in the wrong direction, we can always change objectives."
Can we, really? Either way, it's frowned upon.
Someone who changes objectives too often is seen as ineffective, inconsistent, unreliable. Weak. "They can't handle obstacles." "They give up too fast." "They can't see a mission through."
Our society values those who pursue the objective in spite of the present. Those who stay the course despite the warning signs. Despite the alarms, despite the crises, despite the deaths. ("A real leader.")
That's why, when we fail, we're often pushed to question step 2 – and that's the second thing that bothers me:
We blame ourselves for doing it badly, for poor execution, for not being strong enough, brave enough, persistent enough. It's our fault.
Whereas for me, the devil is in step 1:
In the judgment. In the intention. In the desire for control.
If my life has gotten better over the past 7 years, it's because I've worked on that step.
I still judge (of course), but less. And not the same things anymore. And as my judgment began to change, so did my actions.
By accepting more, we put an end to certain hollow crusades. We spend less time in our heads, straining toward an imaginary future, and more time here and now.
We agree to trust the present and whatever arises naturally.
"Succeeding" and "failing" lose a little of their authority over our lives.
And honestly, it's restful.