Obligation and love
Either you act out of obligation, or you act out of love.
To act out of love, there can't be any obligation.
That's why my first step is always to free myself from obligation. I'm under no obligation. I won't do it. Really. I mentally prepare myself to face the consequences of "not doing it".
Once I'm free, everything changes.
Sometimes the reasons to act come back to me. The ones I'd forgotten. And everything becomes easy.
Or I don't. And good riddance.