Everything is so clear when I'm present.
When I'm curious about the moment, when I inspect the colors, sounds, and sensations that come to me... The world is no longer mysterious. It's no longer frightening. Stories of success and failure seem far away.
Action becomes easier, too.
Every gesture feels obvious and problems seem to solve themselves.
Yet I spend most of my time elsewhere.
Even though I meditate in the morning and return to presence several times a day, I regularly let myself get caught up in urgency and fabrication. Less than before, perhaps.
In those moments, though, it feels like going back to square one. Everything becomes serious again. The past and future are threatening again. We're back to trying to solve problems that didn't exist two minutes earlier.
Apparently this is normal: we move in and out of presence.
The goal is to stabilize, to truly change our operating system.
I'm going to work on that.
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