Meditation and letting go

Every now and then, I reach a new stage in meditation.

This morning, I "became" the sound of the rain.

That sounds a bit esoteric, but what it means is that I noticed the distance I was keeping all the time between myself and the experience.

Usually, "I observe the experience." I'm a subject (me) looking at, listening to or feeling an object (the rain). But from a distance. I remain myself. The rain remains the rain.

This morning, I became aware of that distance. I realized I was the one creating it, that it came from an inner resistance, probably a fear of losing myself.

Once I'd spotted it, I could lower the barrier. It dropped all at once and I could "become" the sound of the rain, the tightness in my stomach, the worry about the day ahead, etc.

It had happened to me before – it happens to all of us – but by chance.

This time, I spotted the inner mechanism.