When I work with professionals on their communication, I start with what I call an "immersive interview."
For two hours, the person tells me their story. More often than not, we start with the personal to make sense of the professional.
And I've noticed something:
The career you chose, and the difficulties you face in advancing, are almost certainly tied to your relationship with your parents.
First, let me be clear: I'm not a psychologist. I have no training in the field and no intention of becoming one.
Still, I didn't need any training to notice this pattern showing up again and again, seemingly the unconscious source of many professional obstacles.
Every time, I flag it as the first item, in a section I call "this isn't my area, but here's what I've noticed and what you might want to explore with someone else."
The observation:
You may have chosen your career to please your parents or prove something to them.
If so, the obstacles keeping you from reaching the next level may have nothing to do with your profession.
In other words: working harder in your field won't move you forward.
Willpower and grit won't change a thing.
In fact, they'll take you further from the heart of the problem.
To move forward, you have to go back to the source.
Why do I do what I do?
What am I really trying to achieve?
If my father or mother were still alive, what professional triumph would I want them to witness?
Or if they were gone tomorrow, what moment in my career would I regret them not seeing?
Does the part of me that seeks to exist in their eyes play a bigger role in my decisions than I realize?
Because often, the problem isn't figuring out how to get what you want.
It's understanding why it matters so much.
In the why lies the how.
And therefore the answer.