You can't pretend to be free.
If you have an appointment at 11 a.m. that you can't miss...
then there's no point meditating, relaxing, putting it all in perspective.
Well, there is: it can help you ease up a little.
But whatever the work, you'll still be facing that inner obligation, and it will create anxiety.
To free yourself from the anxiety, you have to free yourself from the obligation.
That's the only way.
Freeing yourself from the obligation doesn't mean not going.
It means acknowledging that you can't be certain of the future.
It means accepting that things might change between now and then, and that you'll take that into account.
It means realizing this appointment isn't that important.
Its importance rests on a story you've been telling yourself for weeks, for months. Maybe years. Maybe about yourself.
But it's still a story.
Because the material truth of things is this:
You can't predict the future.
You don't know what will be good for you later.
You're not bound to obey the demands of the past.
You can choose to. But it's still a choice.
You'll make that choice when the time comes, when you're there.
But in the meantime, I'm here and now.
I can make a statement of intent.
But I can't guarantee the future.
So we'll see.