My latest video on procrastination generated a lot of questions that fell into two categories: examples and solutions. So let's get into it:
Examples
Some people had a hard time understanding what I was talking about.
What is this "underlying problem" that we wouldn't address and would rather avoid by "throwing ourselves into pointless action"?
Three examples off the top of my head:
- Diving into work to avoid confronting your career choices. You picked your job by default, or because mom and dad pushed you, or just for the money. You try to ignore the daily signals that you're on the wrong track by numbing yourself with work, routine, or outside addictions.
- Starting a project to avoid an emotion or a situation. I felt anger, jealousy, sadness, fear, grief. When I saw that emotion coming, rather than accepting it and living through it, I set in motion a whole plan of action whose only (hidden) goal was to avoid being alone with it. As soon as it comes back, I speed up.
- Solving surface problems rather than underlying ones. Since childhood, I've had an issue with money, or with love, or with food. And rather than finding the source of that tension and healing the root cause, I spend my time finding new costly solutions (in energy, time, or money) to manage the symptoms as they appear.
There would be others.
Solutions
Always the same one for me: presence.
Find it however you want – for me it was meditation and journaling – but there are plenty of ways.
The goal, roughly, is this:
When you feel an emotion, a tension, a discomfort, or an obstacle rise up, don't immediately take refuge in action.
If every morning, the same fear comes back. If with every task, the same resistance rises. If every day, the same anxiety appears...
Work, projects, and busyness aren't necessarily the answer.
This isn't about stopping what you're doing. Not at all.
Just: spend a little time with those emotions.
One minute. Five, if you have the time.
How do they show up? Are they tied to a tension in the body or a pain? Are there recurring thoughts or ideas that come with them?
That's it. Carry on with your day.
Many of the things you do in life are probably reactive.
Meaning you put them in place at some point to avoid a problem or an emotion.
By taking a few minutes to grow familiar with what's happening inside, you'll feel less need to set up pointless solutions outside.
And as I always say: this isn't intellectual work.
There's nothing to figure out. No big decision to make.
It's just a habit to develop:
Contemplate for a few moments the emotion that rises up instead of trying to resolve it right away.
Observe the resistance or the anxiety for a minute before trying to chase it away.
That's all.
The rest takes care of itself.