I've known it exists for a long time, but yesterday I managed to put it into words clearly for the first time.
Let's say you often get angry. And you'd like to be less so. (But this also works with sadness, fear, jealousy, etc.)
Why not give meditation a try? It's supposed to be calming, right?
So you get started. With or without an app. Every day, you set aside some time to meditate.
Waiting for the moment when you'll no longer get angry.
But when, after several weeks or months of effort, you find yourself in exactly the same place, you go see the local guru who, if he's worth his salt, will reveal to you that...
It never stood a chance of working.
Really? But... aren't there plenty of people who've calmed down thanks to meditation? Why isn't it working for me?
Because of the paradox of spirituality.
Which could be put this way:
To meditate is to accept.
And indeed, when you fully accept an emotion, it tends to disappear. Or at least to show up differently.
Unless that was your goal from the start.
In other words:
If you fully accept your anger, it will tend to disappear... unless that was your aim!
Which actually makes perfect sense.
Because if your aim was to make it disappear, then the acceptance wasn't sincere. It was a tool, a façade.
You were pretending – sometimes without realizing it.
And yet it's the peace you make with the emotion that neutralizes it.
But you never wanted peace. Not really.
You wanted to get rid of it.
Instead of welcoming it.
And integrating it.